What Your Profile Photo Says About You

Instagrammed Selfie: I am not as attractive as I look and would prefer it not to be obvious to non-friends or at first glance.

Instagrammed Couple Selfie: I suffer from a range of insecurities, for which I now feel validated because I am in a relationship.

Surrounded By Friends (men): I hope you will mistake me for one of my more attractive friends.

Surrounded By Friends (women): I hope to appear more attractive by surrounding myself by less attractive friends.

Graduation Photo: I recently graduated and am now grotesquely unemployed because my pretentious degree is completely useless in the real world.

Lads holiday: I lack commitment and drink excessively. I also probably have chlamydia.

Huns holiday: I strategically concealed my sunburn and sucked my stomach in simultaneously and I would appreciate if you would acknowledge my efforts.

Holding A Baby/Puppy (men): Look how sensitive and family orientated I am. Let that oestrogen flow as I deliberately delay replying to your message while aware you know I’ve seen it.

Holding A Baby/Puppy (women): Look how sensitive and family orientated I am. I could totally bear your children, and wear a slutty dress to make your friends jealous at work functions.

Photo Of A Car: I spend more time in the garage than with my friends. I’m also 17.

Sonogram: Expect to see nothing but photos of my child for the next 20 odd years.

Snapchat Screenshot: The majority of social interactions I engage in are on Snapchat.

Photo In Front Of A Tourist Attraction: I like to appear interesting and cultured but I am painfully boring in real life.

Halloween Costume Photo: I am a whore for the rest of the year, and on this occasion it is socially acceptably to dress accordingly.

Bikini Photo: I would like you to be aware that I am comfortable with my body.

Army Photo: I am a manly man who engages in manly activities with other men.

Headshot: I like to represent myself at my best online, and will be almost unrecognisable in real life.

Sports Team Photo: I am extremely active and have little else to talk about other than sports teams and protein shakes.

Pageant Photo: I am unsure of what to do with my life, and am hoping my looks will lead me to some sort of success.

Gym Photo: I am conscious of my below average intelligence and am also dependant on my appearance for validation.


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